Cookie Snob

A friend of mine has a great chocolate-chip cookie recipe. When she brought cookies in to work to share them, everyone began gushing about their greatness. When I came in, I was also offered a cookie. Upon partaking of this very delicious cookie, I was asked, "Isn't this the best cookie you've ever had?" I faltered. I didn't know how to answer this question and started considering if I had ever had any cookies that were greater. I couldn't think of any offhand, but I have had a lot of cookies in my life- surely there is a chance that I have had a cookie that I thought was better. Or that I enjoyed at least equally as much. My hesitation was taken as rudeness. I didn't mean to offend, I just didn't know if the cookie was the best I had ever had in my lifetime.

I think found it hard for me to label this cookie as "the best ever" because cookies are generally expected to taste really good. It isn't like tasting some refried beans and declaring passionately that they are the best you've ever had. Most refried beans are just ordinary, so a really great recipe would stick out. Of course, that is not to say that some cookies are not better than others. I have had my share of cookies that are too hard, burnt, overly gooey, etc., but for the most part, cookies are good. I tried explaining to everyone that I wanted to compliment her cookies as being very delicious, but avoid a superlative statement that I did not fully endorse.

Tyler says I'm a cookie snob.

I guess I am pretty critical when it comes to cookies. I don't really consider myself an expert on the matter, but I do seem to be full of opinion. I wonder if I judge too harshly?

I have thought a lot about my cookie critiquing. I would much rather judge cookies by comparing different recipes for the same cookie, as opposed to declaring which cookies are better than others. I have included in this post what I believe to be the best Snickerdoodle recipe and the best No-Bake cookie recipe. And I can say these things without hesitation.

Does anyone else have strong feelings for certain recipes?

The Best Snickerdoodle Recipe
I LOVE Snickerdoodles, but sometimes they are too crunchy or too gooey. When they are done right, though, they are AMAZING. The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook's version of the cinnamon cookie is the BEST Snickerdoodle recipe I have ever eaten. Following it allows you to make perfect Snickerdoodles every time. Here is the recipe for your enjoyment:

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons cream of tartar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
2 large eggs
Parchment Paper (very important)

Directions:
1. Adjust an oven rack to the middle position and heat the oven to 375 degrees. Combine 1/4 cup of the sugar and the cinnamon in a shallow dish for coating and set aside. Whisk the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt together in a large bowl and set aside.
2. Beat the butter, shortening, and remaining 1 1/2 cups sugar together in a large bowl using an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy, 3 to 6 minutes. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, until incorporated, about 30 seconds, scraping down the bowl and beaters as needed.
3. Reduce the mixer speed to low and slowly mix in the flour mixture until combined, about 30 seconds. Give the dough a final stir with a rubber spatula to make sure it is combined.
4. Using wet hands, roll 2 tablespoons of dough at a time into balls, then roll in the cinnamon sugar to coat and lay on two parchment-lined baking sheets, spaced about 2 1/2 inches apart. Bake the cookies, one sheet at a time, until the edges are set and just beginning to brown but the centers are still soft and puffy, 10 to 12 minutes, rotating the baking sheet halfway through baking.
5. Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for 10 minutes, then serve warm or transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely.

The Best No-bake Cookies
This is another cookie that seems to vary greatly in taste depending on what recipe you use. I have had these cookies a lot over the years, and rarely is there a great balance between the chocolate, peanut butter, and oatmeal. More often than not, they should be called Chocolate Peanut Butter Puddles. Recently, I made my family's age-old recipe that I grew up on. Without a doubt, it is the best No-Bake recipe I have ever had. There is a great balance of tastes. The peanut butter is added as a dry ingredient with the oatmeal instead of melting it with the chocolate (which I think preserves the PB flavor). Cocoa powder is also used instead of melting chocolate chips which somehow also seems to make it better. I have also included this recipe.

Ingredients:

3 1/2 cups quick oats (regular oats work well too)

1/2 cup peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

dash salt
One stick margarine (or butter)
1/2 cup milk
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup cocoa

Directions:
1. Combine oats, peanut butter, vanilla, and salt in large mixing bowl. Stir until peanut butter is as evenly distributed as possible.
2. Combine margarine, milk, sugar, and cocoa in small saucepan. Bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Boil one minute. Pour into oats mixture and stir until combined.
3. Drop desired cookie size onto wax paper and wait until hardened.

Let me know your thoughts.

I Can Has Lesson?

So, I understand that it may be a lot to ask for every English speaker to have perfect spelling and grammar (myself included). I would like to expect, however, that we English speakers at least have a general understanding of commonly used words and their pronunciation. As I listen to my fellow speakers, there are a few uses of extremely common English words that are difficult for me to forgive. In fact, there is a small uncontrollable shudder when I hear them.

Here are the top 10 unforgivable words:

(Feel free to add to this list)

10. oviously

9. heighth (I have heard drafters and architects talk about the hieghth of a building)

8. irregardless

7. supposevly, supposebly

6. nuculus, nucular (Tyler's science teacher would talk about the "nuculus of the atom")

5. drownd (ex. don't drownd), drownding

4. sell, in place of sale (I actually saw a sign that said "Contract for Sell")

3. excetra

2. exspecially, and on occasion, even "exscape"

...and the number one bizarre and annoying pronunciation heard daily...

1. acrost

I really don't understand this one. And I have heard it in many different contexts:

My design classes: "Draw a line acrost the page."

My exercise class: "Reach acrost your body."

Film sets: "The camera will pan acrost the stage."

Stadium of Fire: "They'll run acrost the field (actually, "feld") AND "The cords will go acrost to the portal."

I really don't get it. One day, I heard it 4 times. 4 times! I think it was 100% of the times I heard the word "across" used that day. Do these users spell the word that way?? I mean, why on earth would anyone add a random "t"?

I actually read why someone would add a random "t". I guess as humans, we naturally want to end words with a hard consonant. Ending with an "s" makes us nervous, so sometimes one adds the "t". That's interesting, but come on. The word is acrossss.

The biggest problem I have with this epidemic is I don't see how I can help solve it. How can I, just one little girl, tackle a problem that is so widespread? It is rude to correct people, even though I think I would want to know if one of my "mouth habits" caused people to make unforgivable lists. I guess all we can do is take notice and try to correct our kids. Other than that, I am at a loss for ideas.